The Devil's Own Blog From God's Own County

Having had me peepers seen to it struck me that the retinal images supplied could be put to other uses!

Yes those are me very own retinas should anyone feel a need to impersonate me.

Of course the worrywarts at No2Id have some tedious views

I am told that a close family member asked to identify the corpse left ranting "that's not my brother, do I look like the brother of an ugly white honky with a bad nosejob? They say he had some sort of fading disease but my kids regularly sleepover with Michael and they'd tell me if he did bad things like turning white wouldn't they? Still it does confirm the old 'ho's tale - dem white boys sure do have small ones!"

I won't believe he's dead until I see the coffin Moonwalk.

the bribes have been paid and the fix is in, Bradford is the Unesco City of Film. Presumably because it has the pit to remake Quattermass and the Pit. Or perhaps because it has its very own Wicked Witch in the haggard and grasping Maud Marshall. One thing it does have is the thriving drugs industry that actors demand.

I didn't vote for any of the tossers.

It seems that rather than let the people of Bradford have nice park where they want it the City fathers are going to bribe business* to ruin the view of the Cathedral so they can destroy the Odeon for the Kris (staff shagger) Hopkins memorial 1mm of water Park at the Fart

* If you are cash rich and need a fake business to launder your money contact Westfield or Bradford Council - they will set you up rate-free!

Well in recent days we've had absolute proof that politicians are basically self-serving crooks that will happily do anything to line their own pockets. So what do the massed ranks of Britain's journalists think is the solution to this problem - well both the Sun and the Guardian think that the answer is to have more of the crooked bastards by sacking the largely honest Lords (all the Lords who have been found to be defrauding the public or selling influence are those nasty political appointees) and replacing them with an elected second chamber. This is completely mad - we need less crooked scum not more. The second chamber should consist of people who reject politics so that they can slap down the inevitable trash that results from allowing a largely uneducated electorate free reign to exercise their monumental ignorance. IMO anyone admitted to the second chamber should pass the following tests:

1. to never have been a member of a political party or have family or friends who are members of a political party
2. to never have sought elected office
3. to have not voted in any election for at least ten years, and finally
4. to undertake never to talk to a politician or listen to their views.

Personally I'd abolish democracy and replace politicians with representatives selected by the jury system for a single five year term meeting no more than one hour a week. Anyone who shows any inclination towards politics should be hung from the nearest lamp-post or if you are feeling charitable imprisoned for life.

Obviously the Sun is so low-brow you can understand that they might be so stupid as to think politicians shouldn't be shot on sight and given the sub-editing in today's Guardian (from Simon Hoggart's column "someone who has just shrugged a great weight from his soldiers" amazingly they've repeated the cock up on the website too) the Guardian is also terminally stupid.

The gross stupidity of governing a country by representative democracy is finally coming home to roost. Nothing demonstrates the flaw at its core better than the fact that the only honest MPs seem to be terrorists. Quite why anyone is naive enough to think that giving power to people who seek it is wise is beyond me, to compound this by then paying them to indulge their egos just shows how gullible the electorate are.

There can only be two* solutions - either restrict the franchise to those who are suitably cynical about the sort of scum who want to be MPs or better yet to select MPs from the electorate using the jury selection system.

As to the expense scandal one local MP nicely illustrates the greed that inevitably exists in those selfish enough to seek power over others. I do like his comment "I love my country" that some say he shows by regularly collecting portraits of the Queen in plain envelopes, he is said to be particularly keen that muslim members of the community demonstrate their loyalty to the crown in this manner. Obviously as he is merely collecting pictures of the Queen it is not necessary to trouble the taxman or the register of members interests. Sadly his collection is so vast that moving it has damaged his back to the extent he had to charge £750 to expenses for a "massage chair" acquired from an expensive London massage service. I'm told that this feudal tribute system is much valued as a reminder of rural customs home in Pakistan although older immigrants (eg my muslim newsagent) from Pakistan sneer at it as showing Malik as the "village boy" he is.

* There is a third way - a nice length of hemp, alas a shortage of lamp-posts on Westminster bridge precludes this solution.

Want the dirt on BCHT and property development in Bradford then welcome Clifford Cook our snout in the BCHT trough.

His first snippet is some of the questions from the job assessment process undertaken when BCHT was set up to ensure that no competent staff were transferred:

1. have you or any of your relatives worked in social services? (correct answer is yes)
2. are you incompetent, corrupt or plain stupid? (3 yeses= senior management role)
3. do you want twice the salary for half the work?

Needless to say all the housing department staff passed this onerous test with flying colours and thus have to struggle to dispose of far more money than they are worth.

At last the council has realised that Mad Maud's schemes are nothing but money laundering fronts for the city's biggest industry (especially the canal scheme) and is closing them down.

Or perhaps not until Maud has filtched yet more of your money.

Interestingly this insightful letter was published in the Yorkshire Post not the T&A -

Published Date: 11 May 2009
From: Mike Long, Greenside Lane, Bradford.

Welcome to the future of Bradford.

Tip - don't wear dead penguins on your feet, it's cruel

yup ... by popular vote. Seems Westfield have abandoned the site until 2014 at the earliest.

I have to say I had assumed that social inadequacy could not get worse than the sort of saddos who use facebook, myspace and other networks for those too autistic to get down the pub/club and meet real people but no - now we have those twats so inadequate that they need a shitload of stalkers to make them feel valued - they even want to meet the other misfits they stalk. FFS if you don't think you are adequate without people stalking you online do the gene pool a favour and drink the hemlock.

Can anything sum it up better than shooting yer gob off but being too insecure to allow comments? Especially when you are a notorious tease who specialises in entrapping weak men (she mails them an image of her giving a blowjob to one of her punters to get them hooked, quite why they find a gumming from a wrinkly post-menopausal woman attractive is beyond me but people are weird) and abusing them?

So what happens when a submissive woman is too cowardly to submit to her desires? ... oh yes they get all bitter and twisted about the chap who was prepared to pander to their perverted needs.

Sadly at the moment it is only squirrels but it's a start and while we wait we can always throw another aussie on the barbie.