The Devil's Own Blog From God's Own County

You may or may not be aware that the UK has some pretty draconian laws that essentially mean that even thinking about certain things is forbidden and if you ever render them as an image then it's prison for you matey. Nope I'm not talking Jap kiddy-porn comic books but any image that depicts conduct between consenting adults in a manner that suggests harm may occur to them.

OK that all sounds pretty reasonable but when this law came around my insignificant other came out and asked "would it be a thrill for you to kill me as you come" now having thought about this for a while I just couldn't say mainly because I couldn't work out how I as a man (notoriously single-task beasts who can't breathe and fart at the same time) could kill a woman while doing something so important as coming. The question persisted so I had to devise a thought experiment to answer it - my solution was to have her lying with head in a guillotine the blade of which would be automatically triggered by the beginning of my ejaculation - thus I was able to answer that so far as my imagination was concerned it didn't appear to give me a thrill.

Precisely how is this related to the law - well in an exchange of emails I casually sketched this scenario (in a sort of I'm more perverted⁵ than you can imagine challenge). In the cold light of day I realise that the law has been broken despite the fact no harm has come to anyone (no stick persons were harmed in the production of that sketch).

The law is an ass¹

¹I'm going to lie down now² because I feel a rant coming on about how I would organise society.

²Plus I desperately need to fantasise³ about Jelly's breasts.

³the numb my left arm⁴ sort of fantasy.

⁴I'm left-handed so get your prejudices sorted right now.

⁵ I had rather hoped I'd come up with my own unique perversion and that nothing could surpass it - but when I finally got round to checking I found that not only wasn't this scenario unique some french perv had gone better by adding sodomy and incest to the mixture. I suppose it could be trumped by having the sister fellate a horse but I can't see it would be possible to guillotine her without harming the horse so for now some dirty frog⁶ holds the super-heavyweight perving title.

⁶ actually he's an american which isn't surprising when you think about it because the vast majority of americans only engage in sex when someone on death row starts his final meal or immediately after watching the underground webcast of the execution.

The english translation of the perv's book is available from Amazon should anyone need to buy a christmas present for the wife/gf that drops hints that sex with them is too vanilla. Purchase can be explained by pointing out it won an award