Bradford Degeneration Correct but not Politically Correct

Every other factory town in England is a paradise in comparison to this hole. In Manchester the air lies like lead upon you; in Birmingham it is just as if you were sitting with your nose in a stove pipe; in Leeds you have to cough with the dust and the stink as if you had swallowed a pound of Cayenne pepper in one go - but you can put up with all that. In Bradford, however, you think you have been lodged with the devil incarnate. If anyone wants to feel how a poor sinner is tormented in Purgatory, let him travel to Bradford.

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

Husbands are like fires--they go out when unattended.

Anyone can tell the truth, but only very few of us can make epigrams.

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.

I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back.

If I would believe what I read about myself, I would hate my guts too.

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

Macho does not prove mucho.

Personally I know nothing about sex because I've always been married.

To a smart girl men are no problem -- they're the answer.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Habits in writing as in life are only useful if they are broken as soon as they cease to be advantageous.

I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything for myself that I could pay others to do for me.